I’ve written a couple of posts about my singing. It seems like a little thing especially since I’m not a singer and not looking to add it to my resume. But if you knew how reserved I am about singing, how I won’t open my mouth to sing in church even though my voice would be lost with the other parishioners or how I won’t sing for my wife and kids. If you knew all that you would understand what a big step it was for me to record myself singing and then let others listen to it.
I have to do it if I want to convey my song ideas to others. It’s the best way I know to create a melody.
When I first tried coming up with melodies I struggled. I thought for the melody to be ‘catchy’ or interesting it had to be all over the scale, up and down. For me to sing like that was impossible, so I just refrained from it and figured I’d let someone else come up with the melody. I would just lay down the groove and structure of the song.
Then I started singing in my car. I would come up with melodies that just felt good to sing. Through this process I realized that‘s what it’s about. Does it feel good to sing it? If it feels good to me (a non singer) I bet it would feel good to a lot of other non singers.
I remember as a kid making up melodies and singing them to myself. I didn’t do it because I was trying to write a song, I did it just because it felt good.
Sometimes just the right combination of tones and words, no matter how nonsensical, felt really good and it was fun to sing.
It was just like creating rhythms to play on my drums or whatever was around for my hands to strike and my feet to kick. It felt good to do it and that still holds true today.
I kept making up the rhythms because I was good at it. I dropped the singing as I became more inhibited and felt I wasn’t good enough to sing. I regret that.
There is spirituality to singing that I am starting to learn, just like the chanting of shaman. It’s like the primal relief found in playing and feeling rhythms.
So I’m very glad I was able to let down my guard and let out my voice no matter how bad or indifferent it may sound to others, because it’s not about what they think.
Of course it’s only human nature that I would like others to enjoy it, but as I get older the less I give a damn about what others think.
I write, I play, I sing because it feels good.
I write, I play, I sing because it has to come out.
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