For 17 years I was a manager and always had my own office. You need a private space when you manage people. There are a lot of confidential papers and conversations.
When I resigned from my management position my office had become very comfortable.
Now I am in the cubicle world.
I’ve noticed that I have developed a number of pet peeves that I didn’t have to deal with when I had my own office.
Although I’ll never go back to management again I sure wouldn’t mind having an office to avoid these things that I hate about the cubicle world.
Here are number 5 through 1. (See my previous post for number 10 through 6.)
5. The Office Queen Bee
Sorry ladies but up to this point all of these characters could be of either gender but this one is strictly for the ladies.
You’ve seen them, even though we’re all at the same level in the company these gals have to let you know how to run the show. They let you know they run the show.
They’ll let you know when they feel you haven’t followed the process and proceed to let everyone know how the process works. Remember you’re just the drone.
And the boss, well what would he or she do without them. They let everyone know their worth to the company and it exceeds yours every day.
What happens when you have two queen bees in the hive?
4. The Office Hacker
This is the one who used up all of their sick days earlier in the year.
The suns out it’s a nice day screw it I’m calling in sick.
Now it’s cold outside and it’s cold and flu season.
They’ve come down with who knows what but guess what? They are out of sick days. So they show up and practically hack out a lung all day long.
Not only do you have to listen to the annoying and disgusting sound of what they are coughing up, you also have to worry about what type of plague are they spreading through the office.
And you get to hear about how miserable they feel.
3. The Office Sigher
We know this is the year of your discontent, we know it.
Please stop sighing every time you sit down, or open a file, or get up to go somewhere, or someone asks you a question or you have an incoming call and on and on……..
2. The Office Martyr / Savior
This is the person who just gets all their assignments done right at the deadline. I am talking within minutes.
Then all you hear about is how they stayed late the night before and had to get up at 2:00 AM because they knew this had to get done and then at the last minute they discovered your substandard work. But not to worry because they sacrificed family and health to save the proposal.
What they don’t proclaim to the whole office is that they knew about the proposal and the deadline for weeks, maybe months and they sat on it. They are a habitual procrastinators.
The Number One Thing I Hate About The Cubicle World
The Office Ass Kiss
This is probably the most vile and disliked person in the entire cubicle world and sometimes they possess all the traits of #10 through #2.
But the worst trait by far is the dreaded brown nose.
These were probably the same kids in school who reminded the teacher that they forgot to assign homework.
The Office Ass Kiss, the one who you always see in the boss’s office letting them know every detail of every wonderful thing they did that day, with loads of embellishment (bullshit).
The Office Ass Kiss, the one who can be heard uttering such sickening statements (always within earshot of the boss) as, “Oh my, it’s a quarter ‘til five. Oh I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time and get more work done today”. That was an actual phrase uttered by our Office Ass Kiss.
Or how about this little gem, it was told to the president of the company the same day that the company had laid off a number of co-workers. This was actually said, I am not making this up or paraphrasing. “You should go home and rest that must have been really hard for you.”
How can you not hate that.
There they are the top ten things I hate about my life in the cubicle world. To see number 10 through 6 check out Part I.
I’m sure if you asked my co-workers who share in my cubicle world I’d make their top ten list and that’s OK.
The cubicle world is just a little too close for comfort.
© Otis P Smith and About the Groove, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Otis P Smith and About the Groove with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.